This is so true. I remember when my mom passed away, that in the evenings I would get deluged with emotions of missing her, being mad at her for dying, hurting so much that I just crawled into a ball and cried until I couldn’t breathe.

Like a person surfing the waves, we can learn to ride these overwhelming emotions. We may crash and fall off our board, but we can choose to get right back on the ride that wave. To me riding that wave is allowing the emotion to flow right through us, just like the wave reaches the shore and dissipates into nothing.

I think where grief or anger can get us, is when we don’t allow the emotion to flow through, but rather it gets caught in a rip tide that we fight against until it exhausts us. When we battle or wallow in the emotion, it keeps it circling around and around us, until we are so exhausted that it beats us into the sand.

Allowing the emotions to pass through helps us to heal from the hurt. We recover much faster, and we can begin choosing good memories to dwell on. We can progress into appreciation for that time that we had with what we have lost. The truth is that we haven’t lost anything. People and things come into our lives, serve their purpose or reason for being there, and then move on to the next thing. The important thing is that we had them in our lives for the time we had.

When we have a bad memory come up, we can just ride the wave to shore and then consciously allow it to fade into foam. As the last bubble of the foam pops, then it is time to let it go. Then we can consciously decide that we want to raise our vibrations up into higher levels out of sadness, grief or anger and start attract good feelings into our space. We always have a choice, even when we think that we don’t.

Taking a few deep belly breathes, placing our hands on our heart, and consciously reach for something that will help us raise our awareness into something positive. I always think of a laughing baby, or cute kittens or puppies, or a favorite song like Pharrell Williams Happy song.

It’s a great idea to have some images, songs, poems, movies, etc…. in your tool box, so that when you need to raise your vibration you know how to do it quick and easy. As the song says, “happiness is the truth”.


“The true interior, spiritual life is not for people looking for ways to be happy; it’s for those who have started to realize that they’ve never known the real nature of happiness.” – Guy Finley

It is kind of funny how we look outside of ourselves for so many things. We think that happiness comes from the love of our soul partner; from the dream job; from the acquiring of money and things. If we only can find or obtain this one thing, then we will be happy.

We look outside of ourselves when we are feeling any emotion that doesn’t feel good. If we are angry we blame someone or something else for that feeling. If we are worried we look around to try and find something that is causing the worry. All stress comes from holding on to these negative emotions, thinking that somehow we can change something outside of ourselves and then we will be happy.

But the truth is that all emotions originate inside of us. They originate from some story that we are telling ourselves is true. They come from a perception, projection, or interpretation to what we see through the filter of our mind. Your internal fears are telling you that something is missing, when in fact real happiness is just behind the illusions that your mind is projecting.

Watch a baby to see how effortless happiness is. There is a video on you tube of a baby that has a piece of paper and the baby just laughs and laughs as the dad rips the paper. (it is called Baby Laughing Hysterically at ripping paper (Original). Look it up for a moment of happiness for yourself). Happiness is a natural part of life, not the result of anything that we do. It is like the air that we breathe, always there and part of life waiting to be experienced. It can’t be possessed, or chased after. It just is.

Babies are such good examples of letting the emotions flow through you. They might get mad and cry, and then two minutes later they are giving you kisses or laughing at you. They don’t get attached to their emotions; they don’t let them rule their experience of life, and that is why they are such good examples of experiencing happiness.

Babies also love to make you laugh. They love to spread their happiness to everyone they meet. I’ve never met someone who when a baby smiled at them or laughed didn’t smile themselves. They are so contagious with their happiness, they love to share it. We need to follow their example, and enjoy life every moment!


“Patience – the gift of being able to see past the emotion” – Rodney Williams
Strong emotions take away clear thinking. They make us panic and think that we must do something now! When you learn to scuba dive they talk to you about breathing. Because when you panic you hold your breath. If you are diving and you hold your breath, you can create an embollism that will kill you. Remembering to breathe will save your life.
When you are in a situation with strong emotions you forget to breathe. While you may not create a life and death situation from not breathing literally; your panic can. When my sister was in the hospital years ago from a car accident there was another guy there. He had skidded out of control and stopped at the edge of the cliff, teetering on the edge, but not over. He panicked and opened the door on the wrong side, and without looking stepped out into air and fell to the bottom of the ravine. The vehicle never did go over. He was paralyzed with a broken back.
We need to be in control of our emotions and the easiest way is to breathe. We may think that we don’t have the time and must make a decision now! But just breathe, take back control and see past the emotion that is threatening to over power you. Don’t step off the cliff, just breathe until the emotion is under control and then decide. Patience is control of the emotions.