When I have one of those days

Sometimes I have a day where every mistake I made in the past year shows up at my doorstep, all at once. It is overwhelming as they are all vying for my attention. All I hear is the screaming inside my head competing with the screaming happening in the chaos around me.

My self-esteem takes a nose dive, as it scrambles away, trying not to get trampled by the growing crowds of people asking if I know what I am doing?

What do you do when you have those days? I decide to make snow angels. If I try to shovel my way out, the snow just keeps falling and in a few minutes I can’t even tell where I was shoveling. 

When I have those days, I can’t dig myself out. So rather than beating myself up, calling myself names like loser, screw up, worthless and so on, I choose to go a different path.

I make snow angels. I give myself a forgiveness pass. I acknowledge that I am only human. I love the Christina Perri “Human” song. Sometimes I crash and fall down. That is the best time to make snow angels.

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One of those days

Sometimes I have a day where every mistake I made in the past year shows up at my doorstep, all at once. It is overwhelming as they are all vying for my attention. All I hear is the screaming inside my head competing with the screaming happening in the chaos around me.

My self esteem takes a nose dive, as it scrambles away, trying not to get trampled by the growing crowds of people asking if I know what the hell I am doing?

What do you do when you have those days? I decide to make snow angels. If I try to shovel my way out, the snow just keeps falling and in a few minutes I can’t even tell where I was shoveling.

When I have those days, I can’t dig myself out. So rather than beating myself up, calling myself names like loser, screw up, worthless and so on, I choose to go a different path.

I make snow angels. I give myself a forgiveness pass. I acknowledge that I am only human. I love the Christina Perri “Human” song. Sometimes I crash and fall down. That is the best time to make snow angels.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness in Greek literally means, “untying a knot” so that both perpertrator and victim are free from hurt or shame. So an act of forgiveness is actually a mutual liberation. Both sides are forever changed by it. It doesn’t replace justice, but it does move us beyond the feeling that retribution is enough (which it isn’t since we can never get back what has been lost). Forgiveness grants both parties to be equal again and paves the way for atonement.

Forgiveness

“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change.” – Sara Paddison

Forgiveness is you releasing the story or drama about what happened. Purging the hurt from your own body where it will damage you. Not blaming yourself for “letting” it happen. It is the realization that the only person that you can change is yourself.