Power to Change

“Since what other people do to you is not in your power to change, you need only concern yourself with what you do to yourself, for that is in your power.” – Guy Finley

As women when we get an emotional hit, the vibration of the emotion is fast moving through our body. As it moves, it slows down to a speed that allows us for form a thought of what this emotion is trying to tell us. So a thought for women is actually a slowed down emotion. Once an emotion has been slowed down it becomes a distorted emotion (because it is no longer vibrating at the correct speed), and this slowed down distorted emotion, creates a negative thought.

Most of us tend to get overtaken by our feelings and reactions to the negative thoughts. We believe that someone or something else is causing us to be unhappy, Instead of giving away our power to be happy to another person or possession or belief, we have the power within ourselves to change the negative thoughts.

Instead of resisting the negative thought, what we need to do is welcome the thought with a vibration of nonattachment. Just open the door and say hello to the thought, completely neutral. When we do this we are retraining our hypothalamus that just because I have a negative thought doesn’t mean I have to go down into negative energy. I can remain in ease and nonattachment, and just allow the thought to go on its way. No harm, no foul.

I think that this is what Guy Finley is talking about, from a woman’s point of view. I can’t change what others do or say. The only thing in my power is my reaction. I can just welcome the thought in and let it go on its way, with no drama, no story, that is what is in my power and in your power. Because my reaction in any other way just puts negativity into my life. I am essentially punishing myself for something that I had no control over – what someone else did or thought or didn’t do or think. How useless is that?

It is in my power live a life of ease and grace, and if you really think about it, if someone is trying to hurt me, isn’t that the best revenge? No reaction, just me being happy

Awareness

“The outcome of any relationship in life is inseparable from the level of awareness of the one entering into that relationship.” – Guy Finley

This past week in my retreat I met some wonderful women. We created relationships that will be fostered by what we experienced together, and by the community that has been created around the program. Most of the time when we meet people through a program we might connect energetically with one or two people.
With this program I believe that all of us established a connection with each other.

As part of the program, we learned to release our resistance to things by paying attention to the energy that we bring with us as we live our lives. When you have resistance and pull the cord of energy that is attached to that resistance, it creates a totally new way of dealing with the “drama of everyday” as things that pop into our lives.

I think that this level of awareness is what Guy Finley was referring to with this quote. I also believe that living life with this level of awareness is illuminating, as you begin to see how the little irritants that we are used to living our life with, can simply be let go. It isn’t necessary to be attached to the story that we tell ourselves about what someone said or didn’t say; what someone did or failed to do; and how it really isn’t all about us at all. Pulling the cord releases the drama and then we can look objectively at the issue at hand and determine how much of the drama was simply created by our own illusions about what something means.

Living with this level of awareness isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is something that we can remind ourselves of everyday. At first we realize what we have done afterwards. Then we pull the energetic cord and forgive ourselves for falling into the illusion again. And if we pay attention, we start catching ourselves right in the middle of the illusion; and then one day we stop ourselves from spinning the illusion right at the beginning. Of course since we aren’t yet perfect we still spin some interesting stories that we will find ourselves pulling cords over, but as time progresses the stories become few and far between.

I think that a good catch phrase is “what does love want this to be?” If we can just remember to ask this before the drama starts, we have the “perfect” level of awareness for every relationship that we enter into everyday of our life.

Self Investigation

“We have a definite conditioned dependency to think of things as worthwhile only if someone else recognizes their value. This painful kind of thinking not only leaves us trying to please others, but it also discourages us from embarking upon the exciting journey of self-investigation.” Guy Finley

This is probably the hardest thing I know of, to work on for me. This inbred thinking that what I have is only worth something if someone else says it is. Intellectually I know that the inner work I have done and the “gifts” that I have in and of itself are priceless. But as I speak with others and write these words of what the writings of others brings up in me, I still find myself looking for outside validation. This fear holds me back from writing, because what if I pour out my heart and no one likes it?

Guy Finley also writes that we must learn to stop thinking in terms of beginnings and ending, successes and failure,s and instead treat everything in our lives as a learning experience. That nothing in our life is a proving experience. By approaching our life this way we are able to focus on what stubborn clinging self defeating ideas and beliefs we still have. This is how I push myself to write from my heart, the belief that I am not proving myself, but rather learning about myself.

There is a video on YouTube called validation – it is a great video if you haven’t seen it. A man is at a parking garage and works at a podium where he is supposed to validate parking tickets and instead he validates the people. The world would be a great place if we all could let go of the fears that hold us back and instead shine out all of the beauty that we are deep inside. Watch the video today and smile!

True Makeover

Some thoughts from Guy Finley – How would you feel about your day and yourself if you:
1. Help to make the life of someone else go a little easier in spite of it making yours go a little harder.
2. Do that one thing which needs to be done even though there’s nothing in you that wants to do it.
3. Refuse to criticize yourself — or anyone else — for not living up to your expectations.
4. Give no voice — either within or without — to any part of you that wants to complain about anything.
5. When you’re absolutely sure that you can’t take one more step… test your conviction.
6. Take one difficult moment and use it as a place to start all over instead of as a time to sink into self pity.
7. Right in the middle of feeling as though the weight of the whole world is on your shoulders, look around for something else that you might carry.
8. Step out of the tide of some seemingly powerful personal event by seeing that moment as being only half of a complete cycle.

Every single one of these thoughts take you out of your personal drama and stretch that box that you currently live inside. Every single one of these thoughts make you a better person if you complete the thought with action.

Just think of how your life, your family’s life and the community that you live within would change if each of us just for a month followed through on these thoughts. You would change yourself and your world in unbelievable ways. That would be a true makeover!

Self Correction

Guy Finley had a great article on the difference between self improvement and self correction.

None of us want to be wrong. When we find ourselves having any kind of personal problem the natural inclination is to hide from the issue. But when we hide from the problem, we are also hiding from the solution. Real change can only take place outside of the shadow of pride. Since all personal difficulty is born out of a lack of understanding, what we must do is gain knowledge of the situation.

This is where the article was interesting. Remember how none of us ever want to be wrong? Yet at the same time we wish to grow and develop into a better person by solving our personal problem(s). This is where self improvement seems to fall short, because we have incongruent minds. Since we didn’t want to be wrong, we simply “add” in new knowledge, behaviors and beliefs, while retaining the old ones. Sort of like trying to get a pail of muddy water clean by adding clean water. We are just diluting the original problem, because what we really needed to do was remove the muddy water and then fill it up with clean water.

With self correction we add a step in which we remove what we had been taught incorrectly, letting go of the incorrect thinking or behavior and then we have real growth happens.

I really appreciated the distinction, because as I look back I can see where I have just added new knowledge and I am still carrying around old patterns because of it. A great clarification for me personally!