I found out yesterday that my dentist passed away the day after Christmas. We had become good friends over the years and it really hit me, because I had been in his office just a few days before he passed away. He was just a few years older than me, and we would often talk about all of the things we would do when we retired. Now he will not do any of those things.
So here are a few things that I have been thinking about, since hearing this news.
Life is short. Do what you love to do.
If you don’t like something in your life, then change it. You are the only one who can.
If you are looking for your soul mate, then become the person your soul mate is looking for.
Open your mind, it is the only way to learn something new. Open your heart and let down the drawbridge that is keeping everyone else out. Open your arms and hug someone like you mean it.
Travel some place new every year. Take out that bucket list that you are saving for when you retire. Go out and do those things now.
Dance in the rain, splash in the puddles. Release the wild abandon of your inner child.
Live your dreams, Create wondrous events in your life. Succumb to the life you really want, but are afraid to have.
Eat chocolate. Drink wine. Laugh often. Be proud of the wrinkles on your face, because they show what a wonderful life you are living.
Don’t wait until your are old to wear purple, big hats, and foolish grins.
If you want to soar in life, you must first love yourself.
“You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you.” Dodinsky
So many of us have put the cart before the horse when it comes to love. We spend all of our time “earning” the love of others by being who they want us to be. By doing everything in our power to make their life perfect. We expend our body and soul and at the end of the day, nothing turns out the way we wanted it to and we are left feeling “not good enough”.
When we live our life this way, we exclude loving ourselves, because that would take away from the time and effort we are spending to get others to love us. We think that the only way to be worthy of self love is to prove that others love us first. It is like trying to fit the square peg in the round hole, we can push it, twist it, and pound the peg until it shatters, but it will never fit. It won’t fill that yearning from our soul, that begs us to put “love us” first.
We have the power to choose where we are going. We have the power to stop trying to get attention from those who hurt us. We have the power to stop hating our body, our personality, and the pieces of us that don’t fit in the square hole.
We can start with loving ourselves, saying “I love my thighs just as they are”, “I love my imperfect smile”, “I love that I snort when I laugh”, “I love me”.
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball
Fear is like the Wizard of Oz, projecting itself onto the screen, when in reality it is a small man behind the curtain. Don’t be afraid to move the curtain and expose the fear. Finding the blessing in the fear, is the opportunity to open your heart and mind to the idea of change and reinvention.
Sometimes we consciously choose to change. Other times we stumble upon ( notice the word stumble) an opportunity. Sometimes you trip over something and you catch yourself before the fall, hopping across the floor as you regain your balance. Other times you can trip over something that plants you face on the ground, and has you digging rocks off your skin. Either way there are still choices to make.
Change is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. This is where the stress really hits you fully in the face. Picture the scene in Jurassic Park when the dinosaur screams into the characters face and you can see the hair being blown back by the sheer force of the scream – that is the fear that you feel when presented with the opportunity to reinvent yourself.
The classic opportunities for reinvention tend to come from two things. With a heartbreak such as; losing a job, ending a relationship, the death of a close friend or family member. The classic “good but scary” opportunities for reinvention are; you go away to college, you move to a new town with a new job, you get the really big promotion such as those COO, SEO, CFO types of promotions or the best of all, you decide to be an entrepreneur and your own boss. You fill in the blank that is closest to your life today.
Bringing an idea to life is hard work. You can expect it to cost you more personally, financially, and maybe even reputationally than you thought it would. There are sleepless nights. You become a master of second guessing your choice to make this move.
But like the early explorers in Mexico to truly re-invent yourself you need to burn the boats. Take away the lifeline and go all out for what you are passionate about. Follow your bliss. Look at what is working and not working. What you love to do and hate to do. The key is to get immersed in what you are passionate about and hire help for the rest.
Ways to make it easier: Surround yourself with people who love to learn, share and build. Join or create a mastermind group with people who are putting their ideas into action. Seek out those in your community who solve problems and ask for suggestions. Create that special group of people who will be your cheerleaders, helping you to remain positive and take the risks that need to be taken, instead of holding yourself back.
And remember the three most important words in your fear busting vocabulary: Improvise, Adapt, Overcome
Great Friday advice – honor that there are people who you amaze, that get excited about you, honor that and fly with it. With that feeling you could fly to the moon and back!
We are all born to make a difference in this world – many are called but few respond. Don’t waste your purpose. Fly, fly, fly!!!
TRUTH! and probably one of the hardest things to learn.
It can be hard to look past the anger and defensiveness we see from others, but what would we see if we looked into their hearts?
This song was composed for LemonadeMakers. It was based on a poem I wrote for my nephews memorial. When tragedy strikes in our lives, it is what is most important. To breathe in the love.